there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize