and you said cock pushups were impossible
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize