i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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