Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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