if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
