I'm gonna have a badass scar
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh god it's open bar.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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