I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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