Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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