He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
