she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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