My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize