Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
