he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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