We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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