pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
