We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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