I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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