your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
