i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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