I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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