Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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