I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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