i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
