Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We named our party play list daddy issues
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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