we're blogging at a bar
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
