He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?