Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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