Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
