i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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