im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
