she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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