I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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