I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
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get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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