I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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