I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I checked into jail on foursquare
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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