I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
