Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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