so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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