is your mom at the bar?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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