How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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