A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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