So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
