do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
