fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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