my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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