"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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