But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
