I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You were trust falling into bushes
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
