why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
