3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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